Happy Anniversary Dear

One day, a girlfriend and I decided to go to a local craft fair. 

 

At the craft fair, was a remodel vendor.  ManChild and I had been looking to remodel our deck and turn it into a sun room. So I inquired within.  I was quite impressed with their work and I really liked the fact that they were local.  So I took their info to take home to discuss with ManChild.  We decided to make an appointment with the vendor to see what they could offer us. 

 

 

We really liked what the vendor had to offer us.  So much so, that the conversation quickly turned into ... what about this and what about that, can we put new lights in here or remodel in here?  Somehow, we ended up with a quote for installing recessed lighting in the living room and a fully remodeled master bathroom. Completely opposite of what we asked for a quote for which was for a sunroom!

 

 

I should have known better when ManChild agreed to sign the contract right then and there instead of our usual way of doing this which is to get other bids and sleep on it overnight before making such a big investment. We never sign on the day of and yet... we did.  As we were signing, ManChild says to me Happy 25th Anniversary dear!

Not exactly my idea of the perfect anniversary gift, I thought.

 

So, now we are into this bathroom remodel, which hasn't started yet and now ManChild begins to tell me that he wants to buy this and that, and join another gym, and get tickets for this and that.   NOW, it begins to dawn on me that he must be going into mania!  Because this is what mania causes him to do.  Spend money that we don't have without thinking it through! 

And then the real confirmation that he was into mania...  When I asked him, "so how do you expect that we are going to pay for all of these things that you want right now?"

  And he said, "well you have a savings account!"

So...to sum it all up... first we agreed to get a "quote" for a sunroom, then it turns into a full bathroom remodel, which turns out to be "my" anniversary gift, which NOW .... I have to pay for!!!

 

 

 

Tactlessness

My neighbor had to have major surgery, who then got an infection, and is now home recovering. So I decided to text and check on her to see how she was doing.  She said that her energy level was very low, she was tired all of the time and didn't want to even get out of bed.

 

So, to be a good neighbor and friend, I said to her, "why don't you let me fix for your family dinner tonight so that is one less thing you won't have to think about"?  She was very happy and gladly accepted my offer.

 

So I call my hubby, who is in mania right now (perhaps that was my first mistake) and since he is so good with cooking vegetables, I let him know what I was planning and asked him if he wouldn't mind cooking up some vegies to go with the meat I was planning to fix.  He agreed.

 

I told him that I had every kind of vegie he would need in the fridge. Or so I thought! Apparently everyone except for the one that he wanted... carrots!

 

I had beets, celery, snap peas, broccoli, green beans, bell peppers, etc. but no carrots. So what does he decide to do? Keep in mind that we have a grocery store right across the street and we are surrounded by neighbors. And..... I did NOT specifically ask him to cook carrots!

 

So what does he decide to do?  He goes over to the neighbor who had the surgery and asked her if he could borrow some carrots so that we could cook them for her!

 

 

 WHO DOES THAT!!!

 I immediately got a text message from her basically telling me "thanks but no thanks.

 

Does man child have a clue what he just did?  Here I try to do the neighborly thing and he goes and bothers her to give him the food that we are to preparing for them. ugggggg

 

And further, when I tried to explain that you just don't do that, that it doesn't follow etiquette and is very tacky...he just doesn't get it! He says, "what's the big deal"?!!!

 

You see, the thing with bipolar mania, is that they become incredibly self-centered.  Life is all about them and what is convenient for them.  It was not convenient for him to go the supermarket and buy carrots or ask another neighbor.  No, it is just the easiest thing that pops into their head!  Which by the way, the idea of specifically using carrots.....where the heck did that idea come from?  I certainly did not ask for them.

 

I share these blogs with you all to try and help people understand just how difficult it is living with a loved one who has this serious illness.  There are various degrees of it.  Some have it worst than others and some, not so much.  But how it affects those around them is very difficult.